Fortune Cookie Frenzy
by Calcria Mars
Summary: The old fortune cookie joke Gundam Wing Style. Kinda Short, great if your in a hurry. Fluff, Pg for sexual innuendo. It's my first fic so be nice!


*Fortune Cookie Frenzy*  
  
Hi Everyone! This is a quick little fic for the people on the run! You might not believe this, but every one of these fortunes came from a real cookie! I collect fortune cookie slips! (I'm not crazy; all the tests they ran on me came back normal.) I don't own Gundam Wing. Well here is the Gundam version of a classic joke... hee hee. Are you scared now? Review if you'd like!  
  
Enjoy!  
  
It was night off for the Gundam Pilots. They decided to invite the girls, Zeches and Noin, and Treize and Lady Une to go out to dinner with them. Quatre decided to that everyone should try a new Chinese restaurant that had just opened up in town. Dinner went rather smoothly without any incident, until Wufei, who was in good spirits, challenged Heero to a push up contest to see who would get the check. Heero won by a long shot leaving Wufei in a sour mood. The waiter finally brought the check and fourteen fortune cookies. Everyone grabbed one and began to open them when Duo yelled,  
  
"Stop!" Everyone stared at him like he was crazy. "Listen I have a little game that we can play, with these fortune cookies." Now everyone was really staring. "Come on guys, It's really funny. Look we will go around the table. Read your fortune and say `in bed' at the end of it. I'll start." He grinned widely as he read, "A wise man knows everything; a shrewd one, everybody in bed." He looked a little shocked, then blushed. The people who understood it, Treize, Une, Hilde, Zeches, Noin, Sally, Wufei, Heero, Trowa, and Dorothy, laughed or smirked. The more naïve, Quatre, Relena, and Catherine looked puzzled. Dorothy whispered something in Quatre's ear. He blushed crimson. Relena looked quizzically at Heero and he just shook his head at her. Suddenly it dawned on her and all she could do was say,  
  
"Oh!" Catherine smiled at Trowa and he patted her back. He wouldn't tell her.  
  
"Okay Hilde, your turn," laughed Duo. Hilde stood up and read,  
  
"You are a bundle of energy, always on the go, in bed." Everyone laughed this time, except the still confused Catherine, and said some unrepeatable phrases to Duo. Zeches stood up and read his,  
  
"Good things will come to you in due time, in bed." This one made everyone laugh, and Duo called,  
  
"So Zeches, you aren't getting any?" Noin stood up fast and read,  
  
"You'll accomplish more if you start now, in bed." She instinctively touched her stomach. Everyone, except the still confused Catherine, laughed a lot. Une, who was getting into this jumped up and read,  
  
"You have an iron will, which helps you succeed in everything, in bed." She smiled smugly and said, "For those of you who are wondering, that's how it is." No one said a thing. You could hear crickets. Treize stood and read,  
  
"Handsome is that handsome does, in bed." He looked disappointed. "That was just some advice. I wanted a lusty prediction..." Lady Une blushed red and so did he. Everyone gaped at the now red couple until Duo began to howl, laughing so hard. Treize glared at Duo then everyone laughed. Wufei sat grumbling until Sally tapped his shoulder.  
  
"Wufei it's your turn," she giggled. He stood up.  
  
"This is shaming and pointless. It wastes time and blemishes my honor."  
  
"Just read it!" yelled Trieze. Wufei clenched his jaw and read,  
  
"It tastes sweet, in bed." Everyone stared at Sally, until Catherine said,  
  
"Are you going to eat the cookie in bed?" Duo howled and Trowa patted her arm. While everyone was laughing, Wufei sputtered,  
  
"Distasteful! That was the most sickening, immoral thing I have ever seen! I can't believe you talked me into this." He looked at Sally. She read over the roar,  
  
"You will be unusually successful in business, in bed." Dorothy, who was sitting next to Sally said,  
  
"You go! Show that man what you got!" While Duo said,  
  
"Wufei, you had better brush up on your skills. Should I give you a small walk through if you can't remember?" Before Wufei could touch Duo, Dorothy read,  
  
"Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance, in bed." She smiled at Quatre, who turned red and pretended not to notice.  
  
"Your turn, Quatre," said Duo. Quatre stood up and read,  
  
"Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you...... in bed." He sat down in a hurry. Everyone laughed and Zeches mumbled,  
  
"Dorothy is trouble enough." Trowa stood up and read his.  
  
"Happy events will take place shortly in your living environment, in bed." Everyone stared and he sat down. Catherine stood and read.  
  
"A happy and harmonious family is important to you, in bed. I still don't get it." Everyone coughed and shuffled around. The word "incest" seemed to have been spoken in the vicinity where Duo was, but one can't be sure. Relena didn't like the look of this. She was really embarrassed. She read,  
  
"Friends long absent are coming back to you, in bed." She sat down. Duo was up in a flash and screaming, "Heero!! You go boy! You going to get you some." Heero didn't reach for his gun but shot a look of pure venom, that made Duo sit down. He read,  
  
"An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes, in bed." His eyes got really wide, Duo fell off his chair, Relena ran to the restroom, Hilde followed her, Zeches jumped up to strangle him, Wufei laughed, and Catherine said,  
  
"Oh now I get it... Ewww!" She ran to the bathroom, also.  
  
Finally Everyone was ready to go. Zeches and Noin walked off together, and even though no one knew this, they joined hands once they were out of sight. Duo made quite a scene of tossing Hilde over his shoulder and carrying her off. Quatre offered politely to walk Dorothy home and she took his arm. Trieze and Une got into Trieze's limo together. Trowa led Catherine away, while she talked on and on about how disgusting Duo was, and Trowa didn't tell her that he didn't want to hear it. Relena began to walk off by herself but Heero stopped her.  
  
"Let me escort you home, Princess. It is very dangerous out there." Relena smiled and took his hand. They walked like that all the way home.  
  
***Awwww! It had to be sweet in the end!*** 


End file.
